I made a friend on Facebook recently that was willing to let me come out and ride her horses. A girl I work with also rides, and I am always looking for horsey friends, so it made sense to invite her. She also has a car and that made getting to the barn a lot easier because there's no bus to there.
We went out today and had an amazing time. We were both a little nervous after having been out of the saddle for a few months and we were afraid that we'd look awful. I lack so much confidence in my riding ability right now, but I'm sure a few more rides like this and I'll be back into the swing of things. We're going to try to go out to the barn once a week if our off days remain together.
Then maybe after I move closer to downtown Seattle, we'll be able to drive out together easier.
We had such a good day. I'm going to start doing my equestrian work outs again during my off-time so I can get my strength, stamina, and muscles back up to par. I'm so excited.
If only everyone was as generous as the people that I've been meeting lately. The world would be a much better place.
Rodeo Girls has a little bit of controversy surrounding it. I'm not a barrel racer-- or even a Western rider, but I've read people say that the show is a disgrace to cowgirls. I've watched the first two episodes and while I'm not too familiar with the camaraderie or cattiness on the circuit, I am all too familiar with how girls act around each other. I went to an all girls high school and honestly, whether reality series instigate drama or not, they don't come even close to how horrible girls can treat each other.
Anyway, so far the show has very little actual riding in it, which is disappointing. It's more about the life surrounding traveling with the circuit. I wish the competitions took precedence over the traveling bits, but with that said, I'm still entertained by the show and really, if horses are on TV, I'll watch it...
Shows involving horses and any aspect of equine life are not very common, so I'll take what I can get. Maybe this will start a trend.
Didn't I hear about a reality series focusing on equestrian sports in Wellington?
I'm not normally a fan of reality TV, but MORE HORSES ON TV, PLEASE!
Thanksgiving was yesterday and I intended to write this post then, but I fell asleep because I had woken up early for my new job (I work with dogs now). Now, I'm not really into getting sentimental over things or people, but I figure that it's a good idea to reflect on the good things in your life on occasion.
1.) My Mom.
My mother helped me pursue my interests in horses. She drove me to my riding lessons every weekend, attended every horse show, bought me toy horses, books, and really kept my interest alive.
2.) My Riding Instructors.
I don't remember the names of every single one I had, specifically my very first few, but I am incredibly grateful for every single one of them. Even the ones that didn't work out. They all taught me something about riding, horses, and myself.
3.) Winton Woods Riding Center.
This is where I rode in Cincinnati, Ohio through my childhood years. It goes along with the above, but without this place, I wouldn't have had somewhere to go to nurture my love of horses. For many years, it was my favorite place in the world and I would go just to visit the horses even long after I stopped riding.
4.) Faith Ranch.
My youth group went to Faith Ranch's camp to ride horses, go on cattle drives, and talk about God. Years later, I realized that the place I thought was so cool was really not the best place for animals, but this ranch actually allowed me to show off my riding skills and horse knowledge to the kids in school that bullied me. I was the weird kid obsessed with horses, and here at Faith Ranch, I was top dog. It was a nice change. I probably shouldn't be so grateful for a place that allowed me to reverse the social structure of junior high, but it's kind of nice to feel smug sometimes.
5.) Torie and the Cincinnati Polo Club.
Torie invited me out to ride after nine years of not riding and introduced me to the CPC. They really changed my life for the better and I will never forget the year I spent with them. They were like a family to me and had a lot of faith in my abilities to take care of horses. I met them during a very dark period of my life and they helped me out of it. I will be eternally grateful for them.
6.) Jordàn Linstedt.
I haven't ridden with her yet, but she did invite me out to her farm to work with the horses a little bit and she's interested in having me make a promotional video for her. She helped me regain my trust in the equestrian community after my negative experience and I look forward to doing more with her. She is an amazing and inspiring person.
7.) Rachel
Rachel is a friend I made at my last barn and she has been a super cheerleader. I've shot video of her with her lease pony and we plan on going to the Washington State Horse Expo next year. I always needed more friends that were into horses.
8.) My husband, Christopher.
Christopher has been an incredible supporter of my equestrian dreams. Even when my dreams seem to be out of control and impossible, he's there to help me figure out how to make it happen. He's also my voice of reason and logic and when my ideas get to be too crazy, he helps me make them realistic. Also, he followed me across the country to live on a horse farm despite the fact that he has barely any interest or knowledge in horses. He just wants to me to be happy and I am incredibly grateful.
9.) ALL the horses I have EVER known.
Even the ones I have never ridden. Without them, I wouldn't be writing this blog and there would have been no passion to nurture. I'd like to shout out to a few specific horses. Wally, that lived behind my friend's house, who I was so afraid of that I'd throw apples into the yard instead of letting him eat them from my hand. Sir Al, the first horse I had a lesson on. He taught me so much. Juice, who I rode most, and fell off of. He taught me how to jump. Field, who I loved dearly. And Rainey. Rainey brought me confidence when I started jumping again after 9 years of not riding. She is the cutest paint with a lovely personality and I miss her.
10.) Matt and Mynta.
Last but not least, the people who rescued me from the scary trainer and have been allowing Christopher and me to camp out in their living room until we get back on our feet. Without them, I wouldn't still be in Washington and trying to pursue my goals here. I owe them a lot and I will always help them whenever I can.
I've decided to donate my video skills to Save a Forgotten Equine (SAFE) in Woodinville, WA to help rehome horses and to promote the organization.
While I was there, I realized that I really want to be involved in helping horses. I know I want my first horse to be a rescue and I want to be involved in the training process to help rehabilitate problem horses. In the future, I'd like to run my own horse rescue organization out of my own farm.
Since my last working student experience, I've been a little unsure of what I wanted to do with my life involving horses. I know that I still want to compete and I want to work with horses. I do still want to compete at the upper levels, but I know that I need to compete at the lower levels first.
In addition to working with horses, I want to write. I want to write screenplays, novels, video games, and articles for magazines.
I think I'm beginning to figure out the balance I need in my life and what I really want to do.
So I'm looking for another working student position so I can continue to build upon my equine knowledge and experience. I can use this knowledge and experience to write horse-related movies, novels, video games, and articles for horse magazines.
I don't only want to write about horses, though, as I do have a wide range of interests... but maybe I'm leaning toward I want that to be my expertise.
My equine goals for the next month are as follows:
Find a new working student position
Start a promotional video for SAFE
I love the show Heartland. Most people would find this to be really out of character for me because I'm not normally into family dramas. I'm more into horror and dark things... Or as my nephew said once, I like black things and death. I think I like Heartland so much because it was introduced to me at a really dark time in my life. I found comfort in the show and the family dynamic within the show. And of course, the horses... I also wanted to be like Amy Fleming. Who wouldn't?
Anyway, I've watched the entire series about 3 times (7th season starts in a few days!), but each time I watch it, I am enjoying something different. Before, I was deeply depressed and wishing I could transport myself into that life. Now when I watch it, I'm not in that dark place, but I still find myself wanting that life.
However, every time I attempt to get that life, it falls short. And here I am, attempting to push for that life one more time. I want horses in my life. Permanently. I know they take a lot of hard work and dedication and I'm willing to do that. I know life will never be like the show because let's face it, it's basically a fantasy, but I can try.
So I'm looking for another working student position.
Maybe I'm crazy.
Or maybe I'm just completely addicted to horses.
Either way, I'm willing to give it one more go.
There's no way I can stay away. Maybe the next trainer I get will be THE ONE.
It has been quite awhile since I posted in this blog. I figured it would be great to just combine all my interests into one blog, but I feel that doesn't work as well for my readers as it does for me.
Anyway, I had four lessons with Janice and they were all amazing. However, I ended up being unable to continue to pay for my lessons because my job situation had been unstable. I had asked to be a working student with her, but she never responded. I regret not pursuing this further because she was probably the best instructor I have ever had. I ended up applying for live-in working student positions all over the country and had an opportunity to go to Virginia to study under an eventing instructor. I ended up declining because it was unpaid and the housing was an office with a futon and I couldn't bring my husband with me.
Then I received another opportunity to study eventing under a 2* eventer in Washington. I was able to bring my husband and it was paid. It was the perfect opportunity for me to continue my riding career. So I bought us one way plane tickets from Cincinnati to Seattle and started right away. For the first month, it was absolutely amazing. My instructor was understanding and I was learning a lot about horse care and barn management. It was taking me a little while to adjust to the work load because I had never had a full time job before, let alone one that was causing me to work 12 hour days and I was only being paid for 8. I hadn't been taking my depression meds and I was fighting some really annoying health issues (also known as a Urinary Tract Infection), so I was a mess after the first few weeks.
I ended up being asked to see the instructor's therapist, which in itself was a little weird, but I went anyway even though I couldn't really afford it. The therapist was nice and helpful and in the end, I am glad that I went. But then later, it seemed like my instructor and the therapist were trying to work together to schedule appointments for me... which is not okay.
I started getting in trouble a lot. The first time was when I had posted pictures of another student riding someone's horse on Facebook. I had asked if I could take pictures AND I asked the rider if she minded if I posted to Facebook, everything seemed fine and dandy. Until the owner of the horse saw the pictures. Apparently, my instructor hadn't told the owner of the horse that she wasn't the one riding the horse-- that her students have been riding the horse even though the horse is supposed to be in training with her. Because my instructor got into a little bit of trouble with the owner for not telling the complete truth, I ended up being blamed for the incident and there was all this "discussion" about privacy rights and how I wasn't allowed to post pictures without permission from the property owner.
Then I started getting in trouble for not tacking up horses correctly or forgetting things. I took those as learning opportunities and I was really trying to learn to do things right, but my instructor would redo everything and as I stood there, trying to learn what she was doing, she just let her voice drop cold and flat and said, "go" like she was a princess telling her disobedient servant to leave her sight.
I also had a lot of trouble working with the tractor. First of all, I have a lot of anxiety from driving things because of my car accident in a tornado a year and a half ago. It took me a long time to get back into driving my car and to even care about driving. I still don't like to drive and I have given up my car to live in Washington where I can walk and ride the bus almost everywhere. Anyway, I had spent nearly half an hour trying to back the tractor and trailer into the manure container after having hardly been shown how to do it. I was so frustrated and near tears, that I went to my instructor for help.
She told me, "You have to figure it out!"
And that was that. Some pep talk.
So I went back to it and as soon as I got the trailer partially into the container, I dumped it, not caring anymore if I was doing my best.
Another day, I was told to drag the arena. So I did, but I was told I dragged it too deep. My instructor told me, "Maybe tractor stuff just isn't your thing."
No... really?
She then proceeded to tell me that if I needed help, to come ask for it instead of trying to just do it. As if she would have helped me!
Since then, I was afraid to drag the arena. I wasn't even sure if I was still allowed to drag the arena. On days where it was just two of us working, I wouldn't drag the arena because I thought there wasn't time or that I wasn't supposed to. Then later, I was told I needed to be dragging the arena. So I started dragging the arena again, but my efforts to try were ignored. I still couldn't really dump the trailer, though I tried. I was getting incredibly frustrated with the lack of help I was getting for the things I was struggling with. It made me not want to even take my lessons and eventually, not ride at all... despite the fact that lessons were really the only time when my instructor was actually doing what she was supposed to. I just didn't want to be around her after being yelled at for two weeks straight for stupid things.
Then on my last day, I was told that instead of riding or taking a break, during my lunch break, I was supposed to be working on the arenas with the other employees. So we did, and we redid them when we were told. I was annoyed and frustrated that I was told this without notice, but I was going to deal with it. But then I was later cornered in the barn. I was being scolded for not telling her that my husband and I got our own internet because the internet on the farm was flaky, as if it was really her business that we had our own internet. We were letting people in the house use it, but no one else was paying for it. It was OURS.
Previously, I had been told that the internet wasn't working because of my husband and me. And she said, "It's not your internet. Go to Starbucks." After weeks with no progress in getting the internet fixed, Chris and I took matters into our own hands. I needed internet. I go to school online and I have to be able to turn in my homework on time.
I just told her I was sorry. She apparently expected me to say something more, but what was there to say? Then she started scolding me for not calling a person a week earlier whose horse had been colicking. The real reason I didn't call was because someone had already called her and she was at the barn... Of course, after a week, I couldn't remember all the details to even defend myself. So I started with, "I didn't have her number." And then I was told my answer was bullshit.
So I quit then and there. I had met a few friends a few days earlier and they told me that if I needed it, they would take Chris and me in. So we took them up on the offer.
Now I'm staying in their apartment, jobless, completely unwilling to work for a barn anymore, yet missing horses and riding. I'm focusing most of my time on my homework and film, but it's driving me crazy that I don't have horses to take the edge off.
It sucks that this opportunity didn't work out. I had kept giving myself pep talks to keep going. The creators of Evention told me to stick it out even though it was hard (though they didn't know the whole story). I was dividing my time between school and horses. It was difficult, but I was beginning to figure it out... and then my instructor even told me that she wanted me to go down to part time because she wanted to hire someone that was more focused on horses. I was ready to completely dive into horses head first until the last few months. Then I found out she already replaced me before I even quit.
It was a mess of a situation. That's what I get for not doing a lot of research on the instructor before I took the plunge.. and then ignoring the warnings I received when I walked into the local tack store and on the Chronicle of the Horse forums.
It's been weeks since I quit, but I'm still upset over it. I left my dog, cat, family, and the polo club for this opportunity. It had meant so much to me and then it exploded. I never got to go to any of the shows, even just to groom. I never got to do anything except clean up poop. It was a thankless job.
So I'm once again between instructors, in an unfamiliar land, and trying to pick up the pieces of my life to make ends meet until I can seriously pursue all of my goals again.
Here's my last riding update from May. I didn't get to make any the entire time I was at the stable in Washington because I didn't want to anger my instructor with my photo/video obsession.
I met with my new eventing instructor on Tuesday, fell in love with her style of instruction, and rode in my first lesson with her on Wednesday. She is an amazing instructor. She really understands the horse and riding- and helps you understand. I have not had a lesson that good since I was a kid. I know she is the perfect instructor for me at this point in time and well worth my hard-earned money. She had me jumping cross-rails (first time really jumping in nine years and it felt SO GOOD). She wore me out, though. I am so sore today. I feel like it was the first time I ever used my legs. (This is an article about her.)
After my lesson, I went to exercise the polo ponies. It was such a great day. Tomorrow is another pony-filled day as I get to exercise for polo and then go horse hunting with the club.
My life has really turned around since I started riding again. I don't ever want to go back to how I was.
Here's to a great new coach/rider relationship and a great new year of riding!
A lot of changes have happened. I no longer work for Cincinnati Therapeutic Riding and Horsemanship as I was having trouble balancing everything in my life and I felt like I didn't ever have any time for myself. I do regret quitting as it was the only job I had that was giving me a regular paycheck and now I'm pretty much back to a starving artist state.
I was offered a job as a polo groom for a player in Canada and I was incredibly tempted to take it, but I couldn't bring my husband with me and the idea was wearing me down heavily. I've decided to continue trying to work for a horse magazine and we shall see how that pans out. Because this is my new goal, my blog will include more equestrian-related things that aren't just about me.
In other news, spring is here and that means I've started exercising the polo ponies again! I also meet with my potential new eventing instructor tomorrow.
It was a tough decision, but I've decided to leave my dressage instructor. Since I now have two jobs, the working student agreement is no longer working out and I felt that my instructor was not focused on giving me lessons half the time. Riding is not just a hobby for me, I want to turn it into a career, so I need an instructor that takes my goals seriously, believes in me, and is focused. So this week I begin the hunt for a new instructor. I have one in mind, but I have yet to meet her and see how she teaches. That will happen this week.
Hello, everyone. I just added a new job to my list of things that I do. I work for Cincinnati Therapeutic Riding and Horsemanship, which helps people with disabilities through equestrianism, as a stablehand. Today was my second day and I'm meeting a lot of cool people. Unfortunately, the job cuts into my dressage working student time, so I'm trying to work out a new deal with my trainer. I was going to try to lease a horse now that I have a job, but after a lot of thinking, it'd be irresponsible for me to get a horse right now, so I'm going to continue working my ass off in exchange for rides and jumping at the opportunity for free rides. Such is the life of the horseless rider. I was hoping to be in a show this coming weekend, but the owner of the horse I ride isn't going, so that means I'm out. I was really looking forward to showing. I bought the book Yoga for Equestrians to help me work on my muscles and balance for riding. So far, I'm having trouble doing it consistently, but I think once I create a routine, I'll start seeing some improvement. I got a free month of Dressage Training Online through Chronicle of the Horse (I don't have the link to the code, sorry!) and I've been watching the videos religiously. I have hopes that the information will just sink into my mind and I'll instantly become a better rider. I've also been obsessively watching videos on EquestrianLife. It is my hope that all of the above will improve my horsemanship, riding, and really help on my road to becoming a professional rider.
It's been almost a month since I posted last. I'm sorry, but with it being winter and all, I haven't had a whole lot going on and I haven't had any post ideas.
Yesterday at my lesson, the horse I normally ride turned up lame so I got to ride a more advanced horse for the first time. Her name is Tiana and she is quite the stubborn mare especially since I'm still very much a beginner. She was testing me out quite a bit and seeing what she could get away with, but I did my best to not let her take advantage of me. I don't know what it is with me and stubborn horses, but I love them to death. I think I just like a challenge and they teach me to be better than I am.
When I gave Tiana the correct signals, though, she was quite amazing. We did haunches in, leg yields, and worked on circles.
For the past few days, I've been watching the clinic with George Morris on the USEFNetwork. It has been super informative and I love that I can enjoy a clinic without leaving my house.
Because I never rode in the winter before, I have absolutely no winter riding clothes. For Christmas, my parents bought me a jacket from Bit of Britain. It does not look like it would be warm, but it is. It's light, but lined with faux fur, has a hood, and I can fit a hoodie underneath it. So far, my body has kept warm while mucking out stalls and riding.
The only parts of me that have been cold are my feet and my legs and seat. So now I'm going to buy winter riding breeches and a pair of heavy sports socks. Then I should be set for winter riding.
